putting the layouts back up soon!

I feel so sorry for Harry. =( WHATEVER. Twilight is soon coming! I love the actual trailer; I keep watching it over and over and over again.

Anyway, I finally got parallel parking glued into my head. That means I'm soon ready to take my test! You have no idea how joyful I am at this moment. Its like a heartgasm. YES IT'S A REAL WORD. Well, actually, I'm not sure but I'm hoping you get the point.

My mom keeps complaining about her boyfriend. As if I want to hear about that. I should be complaing about MY boyfriend to HER. He's out of my life now...so...nevermind.

I want to go to Canada now; not the end of this week! Such an impatient spoiled little princess am I.

Nope. I'm the DUCHESS.

Why can't I BE Edward's GIRLLL.

How freakin' hot is he! & yes Rob, you do have pretty hair. ;)

Count Olaf is not hot. At all. I just like him. :D

You're probably wondering why I'm doing this instead of typing the hell out of this thing. My excuse; I'm heavily medicated. Well, not heavily but sleeping pills probably should make you sleepy, right?

As if that's not bad enough. I went to practice my driving today, thinking it would be productive, but it turned out to be mayheh. Macho mundo mayhem. I can NOT paralell park with a car the length of a truck. It's impossible. It might not be If I could actually see what I'm doing.

Blegh. Now back to the icons.

Just look at his sexy pout. *dies* And how about that smirk and that "I'm better than you" look.

ROBROBROBROBRORBOROBROBROBROBROBROB

I love you. 0-O

"You nicknamed my daughter after the LOCHNESS MONSTER!?"

Currently Listening The Open Door By Evanescence Good Enough see related

Sunshine, Swimming and Suffering.

What a day. My mom practically forced me to go out to the pool with her and my brother. I have to admit, I enjoyed it, but I got behind on my work. We left at 12:30 and didn't get back until about 4:30. Luckily, I didn't have as much work as I predicted.

My mother must be going through some foreign strain of PMS. She snaps at me constantly and three seconds later...she acts as if nothing ever happens. It's almost impossible to live with this woman, yet I do.

My grandfather apologized as to what happened yesterday. He said he had 'no idea' that my sight is that bad without my glasses. I understand why he wouldn't; he was completely plastered out of his mind. It's not my problem but his constant drinking worries me and I have to admit it annoys me as well. Sometimes I feel so sorry for my grandmother. You know, the hell she has to go through day by day.

We were also discussing cars. My mother is always saying 'wait until you get your license'. Hello; I have less than a month till my license. What is three weeks? Pshh.

>> Life is all about change.
sometimes it's painful.
sometimes it's beautiful.
but most of the time it's both. ♥

Currently Listening The Collection By Alanis Morissette Not as We see related

Remembering what I lost...x/3

Today, when I woke up, I immediately thought of 'him'.

Enough of the lovey-dovey talk. Let's get on to the tragedies of my not so normal day.

We stopped at citgo to get some drinks for our cooler (we were headed to the pool). My mother and brother went in to get them while I stayed in the car. Well, the car literally sounded like it was dying so I thought about turning it off to save gas. I told my mother this and she ignored me. So when we ran out of gas and had to pill alongside the road, I muttered an 'I told you so'. Something in that woman's brain caused her to go insane. First, she was angry at us children for nothing. Second, she started to bawl. On to the third...she paniked. That woman called so many people, I can't even give you an estimate. Finally, the neighbors decided to come out and help us. By then, my brother had decided to walk back to our house. Reason? Mother drove him into madness.

When we finally got to the pool, two hours later, my grandfather was there with a woman named Sue. She is a friend of one of his own friends. They were both obviously drunk out of their minds but I tried to ignore it. It's really hard when you have someone laughing like a maniac and slurring their speech constantly.

Well, Sue decided she wanted to go home. She began walking down the ramp but fell towards the bottom. Grandfather basically yelled at my mom to drive her home. He also yelled at me to drive behind them (mother was going to drive Sue's car). I had a problem; no glasses. Can anyone say legally blind?

I did it anyway so he would stop annoying me. He didn't want Sue to accidentally kill herself but it seemed like he didn't care if I accidentally killed my brother and I (my brother got his license taken away but I have a permit).

I, being on the edge of PMS, started to cry. How could my mom do this to me? Making me drive without my glasses is like playing tennis without a racket. Useless.When we got back, my grandmother was pissed it seems like she's the only normal person in this family.

sing from your heart
dance from your soul
smile to the stars

and love like your never going to let go

She dances on a f l u f f y white CLOUD.

I am in a state of confusion. Yesterday, my ex came over to share labor day with my family. I could feel my limbs turn to jelly and my head started spinning wildly. Something felt so right that my body was basically going into a state of shock. Wow, I'm starting to sound a lot like Bella Swan. Lucky vampire. She gets to spend forever and ever and...ever with a gorgeous piece of meat named Edward Cullen. Even though I 'love' my ex, nothing can surpass Edward.

As you can tell, my brain today is focused on Twilight which means I'm focused on Bella, EDWARD, Charlie, Renee, Esme, Rosalie, Jacob, Billy,Seth, Quil, Sam, Carlisle...I could go on and on and on. I'll stop now for your own safety.

Oh, school. It's ok. And my mom is driving me insane. NEVER do anything wrong and you'll get along well with a bipolar patient. I always get yelled at for things I've never done and something that I said was 'terribly' wrong. All it takes is one small sentence and all I hear is "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!" She needs another doctor. In fact, he used to be my doctor. Did he help me? No. He made everything worse. No I do not have bipolar, I have/had severe depression and panic disorder. I've been recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

Yep, the "invisible disease". It IS NOT invisible.

At the age of 16 years old, you'd think that I would be vibrant, healthy, and energetic. Sadly, this is not the case for me.

About 1 year ago I started to get tingling sensations, stabbing pains, and terrible headaches. My first two diagnoses were as followed; TMJ && Myofascial Pain Syndrome. It took me almost 7 months until I got the final, and more devistating diagnosis. Fibromyalgia.

Since then, I've had to attend cyber school because I could barely wake up in the morning. In fact, I still can't. Also, the pain was so excruciating that I just layed on my bed and cried. Why couldn't I be normal like everyone else?

When I did go to public school it felt like I'd been sentenced to death. In the morning, I'd have a dull headache and some fatigue. In the afternoon, I'd start to get tingling and stabbing sensations throughout my body. By the end of the day, I had a massive migraine, stabbing pains all over my body, and severe nausea. I felt like I would die any second (or maybe just pass out).

Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I changed to cyber education.

My doctor says I should come back but I'm not so sure if that will work just yet.

life isnt [ easy. ]
friends stab. people die.
parents yell. you always try.
you`re never good enough.
& you don`t know why